imhipsternow!
I'm almost cool...
Anyway, aside from encounters with the hipster kind today was a more cheerful day. More cheerful meaning I didn't have to see any people who stress me out, I only had two classes, I got to chat with an old friend for a while which was nice and appreciatively not awkward.
I dropped sociology so now I'm a part-time student and...full-time fuck up...yay for me. I don't know though, I just have no ambition. I finally went to Drawing II and got to draw real models which was nice. Although, Dave wouldn't look me in the eye and it really hurt my feelings. A stern talking to would have been more appreciated, but what can I do?
Nothing. Past is past.
Even earlier today is gone. That last minute is gone. The time it took me to type this. The past seconds. Everyone slipping away and what am I doing with them? Wasting time. I will never get this moment of time back and how am I spending it? On my bed typing to a blog I write to no one taking hipster pictures of myself. Maybe I'm silly or maybe silly is a nice way to say fucking up the best years of my life.
It's not all bad though. I could be in a worse situation. I could be lonely, in a crowd of people who are fake. I could be pretending I am something I'm not to fit into a group. To impress whom?
Sigh, I'm just ranting again.
My point is I believe that as soon as I get a job and out of Corning I will be spending my time more wisely and making the most out of what I have. Love. And that's something people kill for, so I should be thankful.
It's just that sometimes when I feel thankful I don't know who to feel thankful at? I don't believe in any higher power so I feel cheesey or fake feeling thankful.
I know that sounds ridiculous. I should be thankful to him for walking into my life. And I am don't get me wrong. I don't know. I never know. I can never be 100% certain with myself about anything.
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