Everyone is disappointed the more they know someone.

Life as of late has felt so hectic, but in reality it's quite slow-paced. Or maybe I am perceiving things backwards from 'reality' or actuality. Who knows? I'm not attending classes all week. I spent a minimal part of my evening emailing professors and shockingly not laying on excuses. I wish I could blame my lackadaisical approach to everything on something, like the Jets moving down in place (egad at my knowledge of that). I don't know though. I want to go to school next semester, but it's hard to remain motivated when I know that this will be my last semester and that my going to college got me nowhere.

But that's untrue, going to college helped me learn maturity and how to use it. Not necessarily the act of going to college, but the people that I met, more specifically the person that I met really taught me a lot.

I keep losing my train of thought. I can't pay attention to anything. I have anxiety for no reason, it keeps me on edge. I've had to take sleeping pills to put my mind at ease and be able to get any sleep at all.

Why am I so much taller than the other females in my family? How do professional athletes make so much money? Do you get paid to go on Springer? How did I spend 100 dollars in a week? I wish I had self control. It's so hot in here. How can last.fm only pay .0005 cents per play? I washed this tank top so many times, how can it still smell like the slutty girl I nabbed it from? I hate Christmas. I want MySpace to stop asking me if I am 18 & overweight. I feel like a married woman, I don't look pretty anymore. I wish my mind could feel as tired as my body does. I need shampoo. I wish I had the drive to hang out with my friends. I wish I had drive period. I love when someone mentions something and you instantly think of someone. I hate when someone mentions something and you instantly think of someone. I have a toothache.

If the sun can radiate then so can I

Throbbing headache = the inability to function like an actual human being for the last 30 some hours. Stupid things have flustered and frustrated me more than usual all day. I need to not let silly things get me down, but it's hard. Sometimes I just put too much effort into things that do not matter and let myself get stressed out over little things. I need to practice what I've been preaching for the past month or so.