I'm the first to admit that I'm still pretty young, and I never meant to hurt you.

Sometimes I think everyone around me forgets that I am only 18. And it's like no matter what when there is any kind of a fuck up it's always mine. I can't even tell the people closest to me when I'm sad because then it makes everything worse. I mean even I forget that I'm so young to have so much on me at once. It's like when you don't see someone for a really long time and then when you do they look so old. I feel like that with myself. I haven't seen who I am in a long time, I kind of just grew into a new person and didn't notice until today. I saw myself for the first time in a few months.

Everyone seems to think it's so wrong when I do something stupid or immature. It's like no one remembers that I am young and it isn't like I ever promised to be mature. I never said I was a good person. I never even promised to be decent. I know I'm not.

Oh, and by the way: I hope you all die, every single one of you. I hate you so much for the way you make college feel like middle school and for all the shit you put him through.